i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
