When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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