I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
