I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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