You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
