His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
sex in a hospital.. check
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
