dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
