Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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