Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
