I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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