I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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