There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
