remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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