Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
that's an acceptable place to lick
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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