none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
