theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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