I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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