I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
