I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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