god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
