I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
