we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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