I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
