she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
