never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
