No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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