i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
