I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
did i walk over a car last night?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
