end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just cropdusted the office
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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