I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
