Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
