Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
