Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
