hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
