I must be too annoying 4 u.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
