You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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