He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
