Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize