I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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