i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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