Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
