Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
