he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
