Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
