Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
