why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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