Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need water and some morals
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
