i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
