The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
