What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
