i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
