I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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