Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
