I'm so fucking centered right now
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize