Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Are we still banned from the library?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
