She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
