How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
